When I was a kid I recited the National Pledge without really considering the words, but from when I was old enough to understand what I was saying, I realised some people should NOT say the pledge if they don’t intend to keep it.
A pledge is a promise. And many have broken said promise.
So I decided: let’s give Nigeria a gift – technically a bribe (shhh!!!) – so she forgives me for having broken my pledge a few times. And as my country turns another year today, I wonder what gift to give her.
Now, I really suck at picking gifts for girls, so I’d like some help with this. After all, Nigeria isn’t just some girl.
She’s a 54 year old
Uh no, I don’t mean that in a wrong way. Honest. Here’s my reasoning.
Countries are all ‘she’, but Nigeria is my ‘fatherland’. There’s also evidence to support my statement.
The Nigerian National Anthem says:
“Arise O compatriots,
Nigeria’s call obey.
To serve our fatherland…”
And the pledge says:
“…To serve Nigeria with all my strength
To defend her unity…”
So yeah…54 year old
transvestite hermaphrodite. And not many people – Nigerian and otherwise – realise this.
Back to my question: what gift to get this lovely lady?
I’m not in the government so I can’t promise radical change in the sectors and infrastructures that obviously need it.
If Nigeria was physical, I’d give her a hug. Mindful of the fact that though I call her a she, Nigeria is also a he.
Instead, I’ll give that hug to my family and friends (with a handshake first, so the guys don’t freak out. Can’t do 14 years in prison, you know).
After much thought, I decided to say the pledge again, and mean it. I also make these two pledges today, along with the pledge to my country: I won’t get in an argument today, and I won’t complain about the state of affairs in the country.
Until 12am tomorrow.
That’s my gift to you, Nigeria.